Reclaiming My Broken Luna by Selene Souchon

Chapter 277: Unspoken Words Astrid's POV I glanced at him, my chest tightening. "But why does it always have to be you?" Killian frowned, confused. "What do you mean?" I shook my head, the words I had been too afraid to admit bubbling up. "I couldn't love Drystan. Not fully. Not the way he deserves to be loved. And do you know why?" I asked him as he stared atcluelessly. "Because I'm still stuck on you, Killian. You're the ghost I can't shake. You're always there, lingering in the back of my mind," I blurted out before I could stop myself.

He stood there, stunned into silence. For a moment, I thought he might walk away, say nothing, but he didn't. He stayed, and it only made the ache in my chest worse.

"I tried, you know? I tried to love Drystan the way I was supposed to. But every time, I felt like I was betraying something... or someone. And that someone was you." My voice broke then, and I couldn't stop the tears that filled my eyes.

"Even though you hurt me, even though you weren't the husband I needed, I still couldn't move on. I still can't," I burrowed my face to my hands. I felt so pathetic in front of him, that I couldn't bring myself to face him.

Killian's face softened, but there was guilt behind his eyes, a deep regret that he tried to keep hidden but couldn't anymore. "Astrid... I never meant to keep you trapped like this. I thought... I thought letting you go was the best thing for you." "You did letgo," I whispered, my voice shaking. "But I couldn't let you go. And I hate that about myself. I hate that I still carry you withwhen I know you've probably moved on. And now, I'm the one who can't move forward." Killian's jaw tightened, his fists clenching at his sides. He took a slow breath before speaking, his voice barely above a whisper. "You think I've moved on? You think I don't feel the sweight every day?" I stared at him, the surprise evident in my eyes. "What are you saying? You married Giselle. You're in love with her. You were a good and loyal husband to her, Killian. I've seen it with my own eyes. You took her out on dates, held her hand in public. You even had a son with her." My voice wavered as the pain of those memories resurfaced. "Even though you were tempted to sleep with me, you still managed to stop yourself out of your love for her. How could you say you haven't moved on?" Killian shook his head slowly, his face dark with regret. "You don't understand," he said, his voice thick with something I couldn't quite place. "It was never love, Astrid. Not with Giselle." I blinked, taken aback. "What do you mean? You married her, Killian. You had a child together." "I married her out of obligation," he confessed, his voice growing rougher with each word. "I didn't love her. I never did. I cared for her, yes, but love? No. I didn't marry her because of sgreat passion, soverwhelming need to be with her. I married her because I felt like I had no choice." I stepped back, the shock of his words hittinghard. "What are you talking about? You had a son with her. You built a life with her." He ran a hand through his hair, his expression pained. "I know. And I've asked myself a thousand times how it even happened. I don't even remember the night we conceived our son." I stared at him in disbelief. "You don't remember? You're tellingyou don't even know when you got her pregnant?" Killian's eyes were full of guilt as he shook his head. "It was an accident, a mistake. I tried to explain it to you many times but you never believed me. You were so convinced that I was in love with Giselle." "It was because "I spoke, but Killian interrupted me.

"I know... I was an asshole. How could you not be convinced when I never gave you any reason to trust me, to believe my words?" I remained silent, my eyes wide in disbelief as I stared at him, so he continued. "In the back of my mind, every single day. I couldn't shake you. I thought being with Giselle would make it easier, that it would helpmove on. But it never did." I felt a strange mix of emotions swirling inside me-anger, confusion, and something that almost felt like relief. "So what was all of it then? The dates, the marriage, the family? Was it all just some... obligation to you?" Killian's voice dropped, filled with regret. "It was for my son. Even though all of it was a mistake, I couldn't let my own son suffer. I did all that because I want to give my son the family he deserves. Att of this I have been doing for him." I scoffed and took a step back as the truth sank in, the pieces falling into place like a cruel puzzle I had refused to see until now." For your son," I repeated, the bitterness in my voice unmistakable. "Of course. You did all of this for him. How about my son?" Killian's eyes darkened with regret, but he didn't argue. He couldn't as he watchesbreak in front of me.

And then, suddenly, the memory of Killian's trusted attendant camem rushing back to me. She had tried to tellthis before, hadn't she? She had stood in front of me, her eyes full of sympathy, warningabout this very thing.

"He doesn't love her, Astrid," she'd said. "Killian only married Giselle for the sake of the child. He's just doing what he thinks is right for his son." But I hadn't believed her. Not then. I had convinced myself she was wrong, And now, standing here in the garden, hearing the very struth from Killian's own lips, there's nothing left forto deny it.

'How funny is this?' I thought to myself. Killian has been doing alhof this for his son, while I chere to ruin his life for the sake of my son too.